Could your divorce be prolonged by anger?
As a divorce attorney, it is not surprising that I see my share of angry couples. The reasons for their contempt for each other may vary greatly depending on their individual circumstances. However, I tend to see patterns with these couples. In fact, when angry couples decide to divorce, the anger may (in a weird way) keep the couple together even though they are so intent on leaving the marriage.
This post will identify some of the reasons a marriage may be prolonged through divorce.
The battle for power – Contentious spouses are less likely to give up power in the midst of a divorce; and it doesn’t matter whether it is over finances, parenting decisions or scheduling. Simply put, when spouses battle over everything, a divorce will be prolonged.
There may be ulterior motives for fighting – Some spouses have an innate need to prove a point, regardless of how trivial it may be just to show that they are right (and thereby superior). They may also believe that the more fighting that goes on, the more expensive the divorce will be, which may lead to one spouse simply giving in.
Spouses are used to their patterns – Every relationship has patterns; and when a relationship is close to ending, a spouse may not be comfortable with establishing a new pattern. As such, relationship (even though it is much different because of the divorce) will continue.
A dependent spouse needs resources – Some divorces may be extended because a dependent spouse needs money that they did not have to ask for during the marriage. This can lead to motions and further arguments about spousal support during and after the marriage.